Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.