He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.