i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.