no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.