Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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