my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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