11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
