i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.