everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero