lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
People Share What It’s Really Like to Date Long Distance
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
These Little Things Make People Overly Angry
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?