But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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