She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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