"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
