i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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