Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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