Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
