The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Randomize