So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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