i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
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I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
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You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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