i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I showed him my bush... on skype.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
