Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
