I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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