you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector