He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!