either way he was missing a nipple.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?