I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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