Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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