He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
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He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
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After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize