i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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