I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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