I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize