Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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