We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
