If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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