Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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