it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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