She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
