I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
