I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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