stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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