I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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