12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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