Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
