it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
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There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
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Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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