I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
