And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i wish my penis had a tongue
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
How does it feel to date your dad?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize