I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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