I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
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WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
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Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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