You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
