mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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