this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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