I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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