1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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