I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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