I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize