K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
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