Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
