i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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